GREETING CARDS YOU WON'T FIND ANYWHERE ELSE

Shop Cards
you're
the
tits!
holy shit
you look
amazing!

NEW PRODUCT ALERT!

  • D*ck Appointment Reminder Card
  • D*ck Appointment Reminder Card

D*ck Appointment Reminder Card

Regular price

Customer Reviews

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fa la la la bitches

  • Dirty Christmas Card for Him
    Dirty Christmas Card for Him

    Dirty Christmas Card for Him

    $5.50
    Regular price
  • Cool Mom Christmas Card
    Cool Mom Christmas Card

    Cool Mom Christmas Card

    $5.50
    Regular price
  • Christmas Card for Dad
    Christmas Card for Dad

    Christmas Card for Dad

    $5.50
    Regular price
  • Sit On My Face Christmas Card
    Sit On My Face Christmas Card

    Sit On My Face Christmas Card

    $5.50
    Regular price

never too soon

  • Thanks for All The Orgasms Card
    Thanks for All The Orgasms Card

    Thanks for All The Orgasms Card

    $5.50
    Regular price
  • Get Your Dick Ready Valentine's Day Card
    Get Your Dick Ready Valentine's Day Card

    Get Your Dick Ready Valentine's Day Card

    $5.50
    Regular price
  • BJ Coupon
    BJ Coupon

    BJ Coupon

    $5.50
    Regular price
  • Happy Galentine's Day Bitch
    Happy Galentine's Day Bitch

    Happy Galentine's Day Bitch

    $5.50
    Regular price
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BEST SELLERS

  • Candles Birthday Card
    Candles Birthday Card

    Candles Birthday Card

    $5.50
  • Happy Birthday You Beautiful Bitch Card
    Happy Birthday You Beautiful Bitch Card

    Happy Birthday You Beautiful Bitch Card

    $5.50
  • Happy Birthday You Fucking Fossil Card
    Happy Birthday You Fucking Fossil Card

    Happy Birthday You Fucking Fossil Card

    $5.50
  • You're the Shit Card
    You're the Shit Card

    You're the Shit Card

    $5.50
  • Snark Box Monthly Subscription
  • Snark Box Monthly Subscription
  • Snark Box Monthly Subscription
  • Snark Box Monthly Subscription
  • Snark Box Monthly Subscription
  • Snark Box Monthly Subscription
  • Snark Box Monthly Subscription

Snark Box Monthly Subscription

Regular price
What You Get Every Month:
🃏 Four Unique Greeting Cards - Whether it's a birthday, anniversary, graduation, or just because; you'll get four cards that stand out. Our cards guarantee genuine laughter or at least a snicker!

Customer Reviews

Based on 3 reviews
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(3)
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W
Walter Pearson
Building that Arsenal

I can gladly say that by doing the Snark Box subscription (which I shall be renewing) has given me a start to nice collection of sarcastic smartass cards for many occasions from moving to Mother's Day.

L
Lonna Freshley
Creative and fun!

These are perfect little cards to spice up your friends’ and family’s lives! Great holiday specifics and then random ones too. I look forward to getting these and sharing them each month!

M
Monique O'Brien
Like a gift in the mail squared.

I love seeing the cards that I receive in my snark box. It’s like a gift for me. Then, I get to send the cards to my friends and family, a gift for them too!

Woman owned small business

Here's the deal, bitches - I'm all about making people smile and occasionally laugh so hard, they pee their pants a little bit. Seeing swear words in birthday cards made me giggle and here I am now - making the world a funnier place, one card at a time.

you are a
badass

enamel pins

A stylish way to celebrate + normalize recovery!
  • Sober & Nailing It Enamel Pin
    Sober & Nailing It Enamel Pin
     

    Sober & Nailing It Enamel Pin

    $12.00
  • One Day At A Time Enamel Pin
     

    One Day At A Time Enamel Pin

    $12.00
  • Still Sober Bitches Enamel Pin
    Still Sober Bitches Enamel Pin
     

    Still Sober Bitches Enamel Pin

    $12.00

NORMALIZE + CELEBRATE SOBRIETY

Proudly supporting the sober community because retired animals don't want a lame ass greeting card!
  • Proud of You for Staying Sober Card
    Proud of You for Staying Sober Card

    Proud of You for Staying Sober Card

    $5.50+
  • Sobriety Cards Best Sellers Pack
    Sobriety Cards Best Sellers Pack

    Sobriety Cards Best Sellers Pack

    $24.50+
  • I See Your Strength Sobriety Card
    I See Your Strength Sobriety Card

    I See Your Strength Sobriety Card

    $5.50+
  • Damn You Look Good Sober Card
    Damn You Look Good Sober Card

    Damn You Look Good Sober Card

    $5.50+

2024 holidays

Valentine's Day

February 4, 2024

February 14, 2024

Mother's Day

May 2, 2024

May 12, 2024

Father's Day

June 6, 2024

June 16, 2024

Halloween

October 21, 2024

October 31, 2024

Christmas

December 10, 2024

December 25, 2024

greeting cards and gifts for hilarious people with questionable morals
  • ★★★★★

    “This card is beautiful, unique and artistic. It's perfect to celebrate an important day and you can't find something like this in a store.”

    Melissa N
  • ★★★★★

    “ELLIE DOES NOT MISS! This is my second order and I just can not get enough! I'm obsessed with the packaging & that's how you really win over a person!”

    Jasmine K
  • ★★★★★

    “I love this card! You guys have the funniest ones. I can't wait to order more and I can't wait to see my boyfriend's face when he gets it. Thanks so much.”

    Julia R
  • ★★★★★

    “Absolutely the funniest and best card I've purchased!! I definitely recommend!! IT WILL BE A HIT!!”

    Abby
  • ★★★★★

    “So satisfied! The card I ordered came exactly as I was hoping. It is evident that the seller puts a lot of time and effort into satisfying her customers. Will definitely be buying from this shop again!”

    Halee S
  • ★★★★★

    “First of all, I love how my item was packaged. Secondly, I recieved my order quickly. Last, but certainly not least, I love the extra goodies that arrived with my order. I'm definitely ordering from here again!”

    Deidra
  • ★★★★★

    “The card is perfect but the packaging was my favorite part. Thank you!”

    Jessica G
  • ★★★★★

    “Always ships fast and this shop has the best stuff. Love the details when you receive the items too!!”

    Corie C
  • ★★★★★

    “Card is what I wanted, husband loved it and seller was super fast at getting back to me when I reached out, I'm thankful for this shop and their service!”

    Abby
  • ★★★★★

    “I love this so much. I gave it to my sister, and my family was passing it around; it got a lot of compliments and smiles. It was delivered quickly, and there was a lot of nice touches on it from the seller. Would definitely buy from this shop again!”

    Emma

omg, stickers!

Commit already.
  • Sober & Nailing It Sticker
    Sober & Nailing It Sticker

    Sober & Nailing It Sticker

    $4.00
  • Don't Be a Dehydrated Bitch Sticker
    Don't Be a Dehydrated Bitch Sticker

    Don't Be a Dehydrated Bitch Sticker

    $4.00
  • Highest Self Goddess Sticker
    Highest Self Goddess Sticker

    Highest Self Goddess Sticker

    $4.00
  • Don't Be a Dick Sticker
    Don't Be a Dick Sticker

    Don't Be a Dick Sticker

    $4.00

Recovery clothes

A stylish way to celebrate + normalize recovery!
  • Sober Girl Summer Tee
    Sober Girl Summer Tee

    Sober Girl Summer Tee

    $27.50
  • Normalize Sobriety Shirt
    Normalize Sobriety Shirt

    Normalize Sobriety Shirt

    $24.50
  • In My Sober Era Tshirt
    In My Sober Era Tshirt

    In My Sober Era Tshirt

    $24.50
  • Sober Not Boring Shirt
    Sober Not Boring Shirt

    Sober Not Boring Shirt

    $27.50
View All

  • Podcast

    Be sure to give our podcast, F*ck The Status Quo, a listen! It's sole mission is to create less assholes on the planet. I'm down for that. Are you down for that?

    listen on spotify

  • check out the blog

    If you're in the mood to laugh and want to feel smart AF and say you read something today, then look no further than the As Told By Ellie blog. It is, afterall, how this whole thing started.

    Read here

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